Mama's Boy (March 29, 2013)

I remember all too well the repetitive words spoken by Adam Sandler who played mama's adult boy in the 1998 movie “The Waterboy”; “but mama says...” His mom's wish was the waterboy's command!

It is a known fact, that guys who have always been coddled and indulged by their moms often become "mama's boys." Mothers, who tend to do this to their sons, are often very needy and seek to create a relationship in which someone will be very dependent upon them. As a result, both mother and son are afraid to be independent of each other. In essence, these "mama's boys" become their mother's pseudo-husbands, and consciously or unconsciously, they like the importance of this role. This makes it hard for them to ever commit to a relationship with another woman.

Religious mothers often guilt trip their adult sons by misusing Biblical scriptures such as “honor your father and mother” in order to keep them close.

Because of too much emotional and physical overstimulation, some “mama’s boys” end up becoming homosexuals, not able to see themselves in a healthy romantic relationship with a woman.

Over the years, we have met several men who are “mama's boys” in the ministry, including pastors. They are bad examples of what a true disciple of Christ is supposed be, one who has been set free from any bondage by his Master and Savior Jesus Christ. How can these “mama's boy” ministers preach and promise freedom to others when they themselves are slaves to their mother's control?

They promise freedom, but they themselves are slaves of sin and corruption. For you are a slave to whatever controls you. 2. Peter 2:19 NLT

Here are some of the symptoms to look for when dealing with a mama's boy:
He has an unhealthy attachment to his mother, and needs to have contact with her on a daily basis, whether in person or by phone.

He has trouble making decisions without his mother, and expects her to rescue him and take care of his every need. He is dependent on his mother's approval for everything, even for whom to date or marry.

He values his mother's advice over anybody else’s.

A mama's boy will never move far away from his mother, or he still lives with her.

He will vigorously defend and protect his mother no matter what she does.

He will always choose his mother over his wife and children.

He can never say no to his mother, make choices and decisions on his own, or have an intimate relationship with a woman without fearing his mother will be jealous or intrude in his relationship.

Mama's boys often have financial ties to their mothers, which is a way for the mother to keep them within her reach.

Guys, who are “mama’s boys,” are not able to be godly boyfriends or husbands, because they will need to share their attention and love with their moms. You, as their girlfriend or wife, are going to feel treated secondary, frustrated, and hurt, and nothing is going to change as long as they continue to cater to their mothers.

A “mama’s boy” is essentially an emasculated male, but he can certainly be healed and set free as long if he's willing to acknowledge that his relationship with his mother is co-dependent and unhealthy in nature, and needs to be put in the right godly perspective. He can never heal what he is not willing to acknowledge!

In order for a Christian mama's boy to get into a relationship with a woman with the purpose of getting married, he needs to understand what the Bible says:

“A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” Ephesians 5:31NLT