Many couples go into marriage without a proper preparation and biblical understanding, often with disastrous consequences as a result. Here are some of the wrong reasons for entering into marriage: 1. Loneliness or solitude - having a great need to be with somebody or otherwise not feeling complete. 2. Out of guilt, pity, or feeling sorry for - You are not at peace, but feel obligated into committing, even fearing that you might miss God’s will, since the partner or family continuously confirm that the relationship is meant to be, or ordained by God. 3. Because of age - getting older and desperate to have your own family. 4. Pressure from the family - they look forward to having grandchildren. 5. Impulsive love - being overly in love, and consumed or obsessed with the other person. 6. Sex - fueled by lust and pornographic fantasies. Using somebody for the fulfillment of self-centered desires, and having unhealthy ideas about rights for sex within the marriage. 7. Single parent with children - in need of a mom or dad. The man or woman becomes a replacement for a missing parent. 8. Feeling obligated to get married after pre-marital sex or pregnancy. 9. For the sake of looking good and successful - because of an inferiority complex and a low self-esteem.
The ingredients that are needed for a successful marriage are emotional stability, maturity, and flexibility. Functioning well together is difficult when one or both of the partners have the following issues: Is easily rejected, compares self to others, holds on to offenses, is overly insecure, suffers from bi-polar disorder, has a borderline personality, is co-dependent, is being controlled by parents, has anger issues, is dominating/controlling, or has a great need for constant affirmation. These issues require the appropriate counseling.It is also important to know that the focus of those who are hurt and offended is to guard their rights. Their energy is consumed with making sure no future injuries will occur to them. If we don’t risk being hurt we cannot give unconditional love, because unconditional love gives others the right to hurt us, and even in them doing so, we still need to always be ready to forgive easily and let go of any residue of bitterness. True love never seeks its own (See 1. Corinthians 13:5), but offended people become more and more self-seeking and self-contained. There is an awesome fulfillment that takes place when a man and a women who are meant to be together (See Matthew 19:6) joins in marriage. “For this reason a man will leave his father and his mother and the two will be one flesh.” Matthew 19:5 NKJV One flesh not only means that they become sexually intimate, but that they have good communication and understanding of each other's emotional, mental, and physical differences, like for instance that a man is visual and goes by what he sees, and that a woman is emotional and goes by her feelings. They understand each other's needs! And because they are one flesh, they are able to lovingly embrace and accept one another.